Bike rack, car, shovels, and a big stick

[Megster]

So I got a new car and a bike rack from Craigslist.  LOL.  Had to drive to Boston to buy me a 1984 Saab 900 because my hubby crashed my pain in the ass Grand Am of DOOM. 

And I got a bike rack to go on the trunk from somewhere closer to home, but it didn't come with directions because it was only $10 from a little old lady who never used the thing.   We can't really figure out how to get it on the car safely.  Could anyone help?

I also got a shovel and a big stick for poking people with.